You knew about that last part already. The game is called Bong Hit 99. But! Use what you want. Vape, bowl, carve out an apple, whatever floats your boat. Baked already, or just want to play? Candy dish!
Play cards. Count up. Don’t go over 99. Last player standing wins a bong hit.
Shuffle the deck and deal 4 cards to each player. Place the remaining cards face down in the center of the table. This is the draw pile. The play pile goes next to it. Don’t worry if you can’t find it right away - that’s just because it isn’t there yet.
Give each player a reference card to keep face-up in front of them. More than four of you? Print page 5 again, or share.
The player to the dealer’s left goes first. Play moves clockwise and stays clockwise.
The Count is a thing and it starts at zero, because nobody’s played yet. When a player plays a card, they add its value to the Count.
On your turn, do three things in order:
That’s it. Play passes to the next player.
If you can play a card, you have to play it. If you can play more than one, you pick which one. You can’t skip your turn to save a card for later. The Count can narrow your options, and the Count is not sentimental about it.
The four-card rule: You begin the hand with four cards, you end every turn with four cards, and if you go out, you go out holding four cards. If someone at the table has three or five cards, something has gone wrong. Figure out what, or don’t, it’s all good. Just make sure everybody ends up with four.
If the draw pile runs out, shuffle the play pile (all of it, even the last-played card) and flip it face-down to form a new draw pile. The Count stays where it was and play continues.
Almost every card is worth exactly what you’d expect:
| CARD | VALUE |
|---|---|
| Ace | 1 |
| 2 through 10 | Face value |
| Jack, Queen | 10 |
| King | Sets the Count to 99 |
Kings don’t add to the Count. They replace it. If the Count is 14, a King makes it 99. If the Count is 87, a King makes it 99. If the Count is already 99, a King keeps it at 99.
Kings are the only special cards when the Count is below 99. Everything else is just a number. And we mean everything: If the Count is below 99, the Queen of Spades is a 10, the Ace of Diamonds is a 1, and the Ace of Clubs is a 1. Nines and Twos are Nines and Twos. Their powers only wake up later, when the Count is exactly 99 (see THE 99 THRESHOLD below).
Which means the Count can force your hand. Say the Count is 98 and you’re holding 9, 9, 2, Ace. Those nines and that deuce? You can’t play them, because the Count can’t go higher than 99. So the ace is the only card you can play, and you have to play it.
If it’s your turn and every card in your hand would push the Count over 99, you’re out of the hand. This includes when the Count is at 99 and you have no special card to play (no 9, no 2, no 10, no King, no Queen of Spades). Set your four cards face down in front of you. Don’t show them, don’t discard them. You’ll need them later (see STEALING THE HIT below).
Play continues with whoever’s left. When only one player remains, that player wins the hand.
The game changes! When the Count is exactly 99, some cards that were just numbers a moment ago become special. Check your reference card. Here’s what changes:
| PASSES (COUNT STAYS AT 99) | |
|---|---|
| 2 | pass |
| 9 | pass |
| DROP | |
| 10 | Count drops to 89 and counting resumes upward from there |
| 99 | |
| King | Count stays at 99 (same as always) |
| DEATH CARD | |
| Queen of Spades ♠ | see THE DEATH CARD below |
Everything else (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Jack, other Queens, Aces) would push the Count over 99. If those are all you have, you’re out.
When the Count is at 99, and only when it’s 99, the Queen of Spades becomes the Death Card. If you play the Death Card, point at the next player who is still in the hand and hasn’t been eliminated and yell “DEATH CARD!” (Yelling is traditional, not required. You can sing it if you want. Or whisper it if you want to be creepy.) Then draw your replacement card from the draw pile like normal - your turn is your turn, however it ends.
The player you pointed at must immediately play the Ace of Diamonds from their hand. This is the only shield against the Queen of Spades. No other card can save them.
If they don’t have the Ace of Diamonds: they’re out. Immediately. They set their four cards face down and play continues past them.
If they do have the Ace of Diamonds: they play it, they say something like “Okay dude, chill,” they draw a replacement, and their turn ends. The Count stays at 99 and you are out. That’s right - if you try to kill someone with the Death Card and they shield with the Ace of Diamonds, you die instead. Their turn is over, so play moves on to the next player still in the hand after them. (Two player game? Different story. See THE MOST INTIMATE CIRCLE.)
When all but one player has been eliminated, the last player remaining wins the hand and takes a bong hit.
But wait. Before they do…
After the winner is determined, the game isn’t quite over. Everyone is still holding four cards - the winner included - and some of those cards are clubs.
The Ace of Clubs steal: If any eliminated player is holding the Ace of Clubs, they reveal it and steal the hit from the winner. (Yes, seriously.)
The slide: Once the Ace of Clubs has claimed the hit, the prize may slide off of the Ace further down through the clubs. If any player - including the winner of the hand - holds the King of Clubs, the hit slides from the Ace to the King. If someone holds the Queen of Clubs, it slides again. Then the Jack, then the 10, and on down: 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2. The chain runs the whole way to the bottom of the suit… but if you get past 10, that’s amazing, jeez.
The chain must be unbroken. If nobody holds the next club in sequence, the slide stops and whoever has the hit keeps it. For example:
The same player can hold consecutive clubs. The hit just passes through them to the next card in sequence. And yes - the hit can slide all the way back to the winner it was just stolen from, if the winner is holding the right club.
And if nobody’s holding the Ace of Clubs at all, then somebody played it already or it’s still in the draw pile. The hit goes unstolen and the winner of the hand just hits the bong. Sometimes it’s simple.
But what if the winner of the hand still has the Ace of Clubs, though? That brings us to…
If the winner of the hand (not an eliminated player) is still holding the Ace of Clubs when they win, a second, bonus hit is created. There are two prizes now! This bonus hit is then subject to the slide, starting from the King of Clubs - and as always, every player’s hand is in play, winner included.
So if you win the hand and you’re holding the Ace of Clubs at the end, you get the regular hit and you generate a bonus hit that might slide to someone else.
And if nobody has the King of Clubs, the bonus stays put and the winner takes both hits. Yes, both. They earned it, or maybe they just got lucky, you can debate it if you want to.
“But the bong’s empty?” you may ask. Well here’s how you handle that: the first player eliminated from a hand has to load the bong for the winner (or whoever ends up with the hit after any stealing). This applies even if the first player out steals the hit with the Ace of Clubs. You still have to load it. You earned it, or maybe you just got unlucky, you can debate it if you want to.
This won’t come up every hand. A load usually outlasts a hit or two or three. The rule is just: when a load is needed, the first player out is the one who does it.
You can take a bong hit whenever you want, even if the game didn’t award you one. Leisure hits are legal according to these rules. You can trust me on this - I just checked.
You don’t have to hit the bong if you don’t want to. If you win a hit you can take it, you can donate it to another player… hell, if you want to you can attach the untaken hit to the next hand. You can grow the pot, if you know what I mean. Of course you know what I mean.
If somebody’s hitting so much that the game lags or the vibe gets weird, that’s between all of you. We’re not making rules about the vibe in your living room. You already know how to handle that guy, and there’s a decent chance that guy is you. But, like, probably don’t be that guy. Cool? Cool.
Shuffle the deck and deal again. The deal rotates to the left each hand, so everybody gets a turn being the one who has to shuffle.
Loading Duty doesn’t carry over. Each new hand picks its own loader, with one exception: if you finish off the bong with a leisure hit, you load the next one. That holds until the game picks somebody else.
Play until the group achieves its goals.
Two players is plenty! And you don’t need as many snacks. This part is for when it’s just the two of you, start to finish. If a bigger game shrinks down to two, keep playing like you were, the regular rules are still on. A couple of notes about how the game is different for two:
The 10 can bite you. With more players, playing a 10 when the Count is 99 is a freebie for the next player, who can play any card in their hand. The other players face the climb back to 99 before your turn comes around again. Heads-up, your opponent can set a trap. If you drop the Count to 89, your opponent can play a ten-point card or a King and make it 99 right back at you, or can even burn a 9 to make the Count 98… and you’d better have an Ace or King or else you’re out.
There’s no Death Card blowback. In a two-player game, if you play the Death Card and your opponent shields with the Ace of Diamonds, nobody dies - play continues. They draw a replacement, the Count stays at 99, and it’s your turn again. If they don’t have the shield? They’re out, just like in a larger game.
Save the special cards at the beginning. They’re worth a lot at 99, don’t play them while the Count is low unless the Count forces you to.
Don’t play the Ace of Clubs, man! Unless you gotta. It’s worth 1 point, so it’s a survival card if the Count is in the mid-high 90s. But it’s also how you steal the hit if you don’t win.
The DEATH CARD might be a freebie. Did you see someone play the Ace of Diamonds already?
Advanced: use the 10 to smoke out the Ace of Clubs. You’ll see. Either you’ll figure out how or somebody will do it to you. Don’t get too mad at ’em. Or do. It’s your life, man.
This page is blank on purpose. Your printer is fine. Everything is fine.
| Ace | 1 |
| 2-10 | Face value |
| Jack, Queen | 10 |
| King | Sets Count to 99 |
Hold 4 cards always. Play, say the Count, draw. If you can play, you must.
| 9 | Pass |
| 2 | Pass |
| 10 | Drop to 89 |
| King | Stays at 99 |
| Q♠ | DEATH CARD! Next player still in must play A♦ or is out. If they do, you’re out instead. (2-player game: if Q♠ is shielded by A♦, nobody dies. Play continues.) |
No special card from the list above? You’re out.
A♣ in an eliminated hand steals the hit.
Then it slides: K, Q, J, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 of clubs.
Every player’s hand counts, winner included. Chain breaks at the first missing card.
No A♣ in any hand? No steal, no bonus. Winner keeps the hit.
Winner holding A♣ = bonus hit, slide starts at K♣. No K♣ = winner takes both.
First out loads the bong when a load is needed. Deal rotates left.
| Ace | 1 |
| 2-10 | Face value |
| Jack, Queen | 10 |
| King | Sets Count to 99 |
Hold 4 cards always. Play, say the Count, draw. If you can play, you must.
| 9 | Pass |
| 2 | Pass |
| 10 | Drop to 89 |
| King | Stays at 99 |
| Q♠ | DEATH CARD! Next player still in must play A♦ or is out. If they do, you’re out instead. (2-player game: if Q♠ is shielded by A♦, nobody dies. Play continues.) |
No special card from the list above? You’re out.
A♣ in an eliminated hand steals the hit.
Then it slides: K, Q, J, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 of clubs.
Every player’s hand counts, winner included. Chain breaks at the first missing card.
No A♣ in any hand? No steal, no bonus. Winner keeps the hit.
Winner holding A♣ = bonus hit, slide starts at K♣. No K♣ = winner takes both.
First out loads the bong when a load is needed. Deal rotates left.
| Ace | 1 |
| 2-10 | Face value |
| Jack, Queen | 10 |
| King | Sets Count to 99 |
Hold 4 cards always. Play, say the Count, draw. If you can play, you must.
| 9 | Pass |
| 2 | Pass |
| 10 | Drop to 89 |
| King | Stays at 99 |
| Q♠ | DEATH CARD! Next player still in must play A♦ or is out. If they do, you’re out instead. (2-player game: if Q♠ is shielded by A♦, nobody dies. Play continues.) |
No special card from the list above? You’re out.
A♣ in an eliminated hand steals the hit.
Then it slides: K, Q, J, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 of clubs.
Every player’s hand counts, winner included. Chain breaks at the first missing card.
No A♣ in any hand? No steal, no bonus. Winner keeps the hit.
Winner holding A♣ = bonus hit, slide starts at K♣. No K♣ = winner takes both.
First out loads the bong when a load is needed. Deal rotates left.
| Ace | 1 |
| 2-10 | Face value |
| Jack, Queen | 10 |
| King | Sets Count to 99 |
Hold 4 cards always. Play, say the Count, draw. If you can play, you must.
| 9 | Pass |
| 2 | Pass |
| 10 | Drop to 89 |
| King | Stays at 99 |
| Q♠ | DEATH CARD! Next player still in must play A♦ or is out. If they do, you’re out instead. (2-player game: if Q♠ is shielded by A♦, nobody dies. Play continues.) |
No special card from the list above? You’re out.
A♣ in an eliminated hand steals the hit.
Then it slides: K, Q, J, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 of clubs.
Every player’s hand counts, winner included. Chain breaks at the first missing card.
No A♣ in any hand? No steal, no bonus. Winner keeps the hit.
Winner holding A♣ = bonus hit, slide starts at K♣. No K♣ = winner takes both.
First out loads the bong when a load is needed. Deal rotates left.